To Tampon With Love



Ode to a Tampon

Tampons are something no man wants to discuss

Like what is their function?

It just makes men blush

When we tell them that they just need to rush

To the chemist because we are a dam about to gush

They make silly suggestions to which we reply:

"No a rolled up slice of white bread won't do just as well

Do you want a poke in the eye?"

What is it with men and the embarassment factor

Of purchasing tampons

It makes them feel emasculated

Makes them lose their erections

But tampons are friends

They are fun toys for kids too

My five year old thinks Tampax

Are sleeping bags for 'mice'

the furry white creatures that huddle inside

When you need a tampon in a hurry they're nowhere to be found

You can't get them from drug dealers, ten Supers for a pound

Always be aware of tampon borrowing etiquette:

When asking a stranger if you can borrow a tampon

Don't be surprised if she doesn't want it back

I am fond of my tampons

And thank God they exist

For if they didn't

There'd be blood on the streets

Written for today's writing prompt over at Sleep Is For the Weak: 'Write a letter to something that you own, that you love, or maybe that you hate.'

What do you think - does it have good flow (ho ho ho)? Add another verse if you like!




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