Fat Flyers are the last taboo

You can call them differently weighted, gravitationally challenged, horizontally challenged, horizontally gifted, people of mass or people of substance but whichever way you slice the lard I call them obese.

United Airlines was a voice of reason in the wilderness when they said that obese people should have to pay for a second seat on their airline or be bumped off the aircraft

United says that it decided to adopt the tougher policy after receiving more than 700 complaints last year from passengers "who did not have a comfortable flight because the person next to them infringed on their seat," said United spokeswoman Robin Urbanski.

United's flight attendants, who will have the delicate task of enforcing the new policy, have traditionally sought to find two adjacent seats, free of charge, for passengers who spill over their seats.

That hasn't changed.

"We'll first try to re-accomodate you on another seat on the flight," Urbanski said. "If the flight is full, and that's not often the case these days, you'll be bumped from the flight."

If this occurs, passengers will be forced to either find a flight with open seating or required to buy two seats or an upgrade to a class of service with wide seats.

The wierdest thing they said was:

United said that most major airlines have similar rules in place.

Which must be a blatant lie because there are many many obese people flying in single seats when I have been flying.

A lot of people have left outraged comments such as politically correct monkies like this:

OMG - that is absolutely horrible - talk about profiling! I can't wait for the lawsuits against United - what is wrong with that company? what happened to the "friendly" skies? They should be ashamed!

People always cry oh the prejudice, oh we are being picked on, but the fact is you cannot stuff a cup cake into a keyhole same as those people who try and cram giant overstuffed suitcases into the overhead compartments - something's got to give. Since these obese people do not fit into the seats they shouldn't be in them.

Like Ricky Gervais who is also on my wavelenght on this issue I'm no skinny minny. In fact it's always been something of a miracle THANK YOU GOD that I eat about 4000 calories daily and remain only borderline overweight. The question I am asking is why is bumping fat people off planes discrimination? BEING FAT IS NOT AN ILLNESS. As the politicaly incorrect line we always said at school goes: How many fat Ethiopians have you ever seen? I rest my case.

Ricky Gervais is the hero who said:

"people who have liposuction and gastric band operations are lazy fucking fat pigs".

He also laughs at himself (well you have to don't you?) when he says, "I get up in the morning, look in the mirror, and say to myself, 'Oh, you fucking fat bastard."

He added: "In supermarkets, the really fattening stuff should be behind a really thin door. Shops should be full of salads, but if you want to get to the pies and cakes, you've got to crawl through a little tube."

Bloody good idea!

And please remember, to avoid jumping onto any policitally correct minefields these are the latest PC terms. Watch and learn lads:

My breasts will never sag, they will lose their vertical hold.
I do not get drunk, when I am accidentally over served I become verbally dyslexic.
When I get PMS I become hormonally homicidal.
I don't have great cleavage or a great rack, my breasts are centrally located.
Because I do not work out too much, I am an abdominal underachiever.
I am not a bad cook, I am microwave compatible.
I am not a bad driver, I am automotively challenged.
And please don't ask me to dance, please request a precoital rhythmic experience.

Do you ever find yourself suffering from politically incorrect nostalgia?...I know I do. This is at least three kinds of wrong...yet so right: