Those were the days my friend


Picture the scene: it is 2150, and a sexy looking older lady looking very much like EmmaK is having a drink down the pub with her new toy boy Peter.

Peter: I was just playing the trivia machine and the question came up: When did feminism end? What the hell is feminism?

EmmaK: Well the answer is 2123. What do you think feminism is?

Peter: I haven't a clue. Is it one of those old fangled type things like text messaging and MySpace - the sort of thing you oldies go in for?

EmmaK: Who you calling old? No, well feminism is, well, now this is going to sound crazy but bear with me. What happened was back in the 1960s things were ticking along nicely - most men went to work and the womenfolk stayed at home and raised the kids.

Peter: Sounds like a cushy little number.

EmmaK: Well it was, but some of these feminist ladies, Gloria Steinem and Simone de Beauvoir, well they started raising these women's consciences. Soon they all began to feel like raising kids wasn't very fulfilling, and they started to overdose on Vallium and burn their bras. Pretty soon they were like lions in a zoo, foaming at the mouth to escape from domesticity.

Peter: What did they want?

EmmaK: Well they believed work would fulfil them. They started saying they wanted to be like men. To work sixty hour weeks in an investment bank or one hundred hour weeks as a lawyer in toxic cut throat corporate environments.

Peter: What? Are you sure you're not having me on? Are you sure it isn't April Fool's Day?

EmmaK: No, I'm serious.

Peter: So what happened?

EmmaK: Well women entered the workplace in droves and by 2009 about seventy per cent of women worked.

Peter: They found the career fulfillment they were looking for?

EmmaK: Well a few did. But most of them ended up in low paid skivvy jobs. In 2009 most women were working low grade jobs for long hours at rates of pay much lower than men's. They were also, of course, looking after the kids and doing the housework.

Peter: What was the point of this feminism thing again?

EmmaK: It was meant to make women equal to men.

Peter: But if they were really equal in society wouldn't women have set up a society that suited women?

EmmaK: You mean like the society we have now?

Peter: Yeah, I mean, didn't they know that instead of trying to fit into the male world they should construct their own version and force the men to join it, a world of flexitime, telecommuting and the option to take long career breaks when the kids were small and not consequently fall behind men in salary because they'd fallen off the career ladder?

EmmaK: I don't know what to tell you. It was called the 'Feminist Movement.'

Peter: So how come I never learnt about this 'Feminist Movement' at school?

EmmaK: That trivia machine must be a really old one because in recent years the Government has more or less erased feminism from the history books. Feminism is now considered to have been something of a social experiment that went disastrously wrong in the sense that it did not empower women, enslaving them to their employers and the pressures of the Double Income Mortgage Bollocks, also known as the DUMBO.

Peter: So what changed?


In the Year 2123 the world returned to its natural order

EmmaK: Well it was pretty much downhill all the way for women until 2123, at which point men had almost totally died out in Japan and women were so career focused there that 'normal' sex no longer existed and women had sex with robots provided by their employers for use in their ten minute lunch breaks. 2123 was also the year in which men could (finally) have babies and also the year we finally got the sort of equality woman had been looking for but had never found when they were running corporations, looking after kids, faking orgasms and sleeping four hours a night.

Peter: Sounds nuts. I'm just pleased I've only really known the new way.

EmmaK: I know. Thank God. Now be a love, here's my key, pop round to my house, put the hot water bottle in the bed, chill the champers and be prone and ready for me when I get there.

Peter: Yes my love. My wish is your command.

Question: Do you think this scenario will come about - that in the future historians will think that feminism was a good idea badly executed?