Let's ride out this recession together!



So, collective amnesia has once again hit us. Everywhere people are saying, "I didn't see this recession coming. It came out of nowhere. I am angry because the value of my house has collapsed."

Now maybe I'm missing something important here but Governments tend to spend money with impunity until the coffers are empty and someone notices and says, "Oh shit." More to the point, house prices do not keep rising, then get to a certain point, then plateau, then collapse like a stack of cards. Also, there is a recession every ten years or so. So why be 'surprised' when the shit hits the fan after you spent the last ten years borrowing money, living beyond your means, buying a house you couldn't afford and not diversifying your investments?

I don't know, I just don't get it. I thought most sensible people saved money in case they were made redundant. I guess this is not the case. Okay, I'll get off my soap box.

Right now maybe some of you might want to poke my eyes out (and if there are any flamers out there this is the time to leap in and tell me I know jack all about economics or that I am an airhead - I love these kinds of belligerent comments and receive them all too rarely so please don't be shy and jump right in!) So maybe you have been laid off, have chickens in the back yard or are running your car on chip grease. But you still aren't making ends meet. So what should you do? Tell me this: Can you beg, borrow or steal a sheaf of paper and a pencil? If you can you can become an author. Don't worry if you have nothing to say or are intellectually challenged. Dubya just landed a $7 million book deal and he doesn't even know how to successfully eat a pretzel.

I am getting a little bit tired of saying that all the books out there are for people with the IQ of a Dubya. There are plenty of quality books out there. Here's just a few of the best to inspire you:


The Tinkerbell Hilton Diaries: My Life Tailing Paris Hilton (Paperback) by Tinkerbell Hilton

An inspirational journey by one of the world's most famous Chihuahuas. Follow Tinkerbell as she accompanies her mistress to a colonic irrigation clinic and to a hair extension clinic. Full of doggerel, this book is brim-full of barking humour that will have you licking your balls with delight.

Katie Prices Perfect Ponies by Katie Price aka Jordan



Katie Price proves that not only has she made money from four ghostwritten novels called Angel and Hair Pasta and Crystal and Meth, she can also write about horses. Well, it keeps her in polka dot kneesocks.


If you're worried that you're neither a millionairess's chihuahua or have big breasts, don't let that stop you. Why not pick a famous inanimate object and write a biography on it? I am personally working on Diary of Camilla Parker Bowles' Tampon. It's sure to be an absorbing classic that can fit into the slimmest of spaces.

Give me the book titles you are working on. Let's support eachother here, take literature to new depths and make some dough at the same time!