I swear allegiance to this burrito

I am currently taking Spanish lessons and am really brilliant at it. Maybe brilliant isn't quite the right word but I can ask for steak and chips in a restaurant and a room with hot and cold running water. And since the Argentinian teacher told me that the latin people spend most of their time drinking, eating and dancing I have decided to officially become a South American.

I am sick to death of this archaic idea that where you are born should define your nationality. I wanna be a South American so bad:


Let's face it, being British has had its chips. Yes, I enjoy taking the piss out of foreigners, eating fish and chips and drinking warm lager with the rest of my country folk, but I believe British culture peaked about a hundred years ago and has now troughed.


I wanna be South American. They have all the cool shit. Those ace dictator uniforms. They invented 'the Brazilian'. They have butt implants. The men have the most ridiculous moustaches and laughably hairy chests.


And last but not least, they have the thickest, creamiest hot chocolate in the world, which you eat with greasy donut sticks (churros). I had them in Madrid once (yeah I know Spain isn't in S America, I'm not John McCain!)


Although it is something of a mystery why South American girls are such babes when young, then suddenly when they hit fifty they get round and wrinkly (I did do a search for 'latina grandma' to demonstrate this point but I ended up with a whole heap of granny porn and views of latin portals that I would rather forget).

So, I will go back to my Spanish tapes and become fluent in espanol. I will one day live the dream. I will one day live in South America and be as happy as a churros in chocolate.

What nationality do you wish you were and why do you think your own nationality sucks?