Hello! visits Emma K

Today Hello! magazine is delighted to be granted an exclusive interview with the legendary blogger Emma K.

Interviewer: You are known around the blogosphere as having a very unique sense of style. How do you feel about that other stylista, fellow Brit Victoria Beckham?

Emma K: Well, what a lot of people don't know is that I went to school with Posh. When she first moved to the States she was all over me like a rash, but soon she became friends with Katie Holmes and Will Smith and now she won't even return my calls. Back when we were mates the cow even wrote a post on this blog. And although I think of her as basically a two faced cow I will say that she has always been a fashion inspiration to me. That said, some of the stuff she wears is impossible to walk in. I think it's only a matter of time before she breaks an ankle. I would tell her but she seems to have blocked my number from her cell for some reason.

Interviewer: Wow! What great new shoes. Do tell us a bit about them.

Emma K: Well, I feel like I was channelling Posh a bit here, except mine don't have that big wedgy bit on the bottom. Do you like them?

Interviewer: I absolutely love them!

You are well known as a canny financial operator who has invested the millions you have made from blogging very astutely. Any tips for our readers?

Emma K: Oh yes, I have been investing in stockings for as long as I can remember! I tend to start the day having a meeting with my stockings broker. I have a very tight grasp of the stockings market, but what some people don't realize is that stockings can go down as well as up - which is why I tend to buy the stay up kind so they won't ride down my legs at inopportune moments.

Interviewer: That's a great tip. How do you spend a typical day?

Emma K: Well, after I have channelled my chakra and chosen my wardrobe I am ready to find inspiration for my blog post of the day. My office has been specially designed by a Feng Shui expert and I listen to some tapes of dolphins giving birth before the first flickers of inspiration start to flow. After I have written my blog post I tend to lie down for the next few hours because this is highly intellectual and rigorous work. Obviously I would not be able to be such a successful blogger without the hard work of my team of humble servants. Thanks lads, your efforts will be well rewarded with a big Christmas bonus.

Interviewer: What exciting plans do you have for 2009?

Emma K: I am very excited to be launching my unique brand of meals for the busy blogger on the go, Meals in a Muffin:

Interviewer: Wow! That does look tasty.

Thanks so much for talking to us today.

Emma K: My pleasure.

I would just like to wish all my readers a very Merry Christmas and also to ask them, do you like my shoes?

Emma K