Argentinian rugby balls

Wanted: position as ball polisher for Los Pumas

Say, just say, your spouse was killed in a tragic accident. After you'd blown the life insurance money on a luxury holiday and drug binge mourned for a couple of years and were ready to get back in the saddle, say you were a thirty seven year old woman or man (or however old you are). Wouldn't you feel like a kid in a candy store? After years of monogamy you'd have your finger in many pies just to see what kind of pie you liked. Personally I'd like some kind of job polishing rugby balls for the Argentinian rugby team Los Pumas, but that's just me. All I know is that I'd be sampling much young, hot firm flesh.

But apparently the reality of being single at forty is somewhat different. Take my friend Lisa. She was married to a Moroccan who was having an affair with his 21 year old secretary for two years and was boffing the sexretary at their house every time Lisa and the kids were at their beach house. Eventually a neighbor asked Lisa who that young girl was who kept visiting her husband while she was out of town? A penny dropped. One and one made two, locks were changed, a divorce was finalized and Lisa found herself back on the dating scene.

Now let me just say, Lisa is hot, she is fit, she is amusing, she is a brilliant artist etc etc. She's the whole enchillada. She also has a fetish for hispanics. Whatever. But what she seems to be telling me is that it's very slim pickings out there for forty year old women with kids.

I saw her recently and she said, "Oh, I'm dating a 53 year old Chilean called Pablo."

Me: "Great, what does he look like?"

"Oh, kind of like a cross between Tom Selleck and a member of a Mariachi band. He's got a very large ...."


"No, moustache."

"Well, whatever floats your boat, I suppose. Is the relationship functional?"

"Oh yes, he can get it up without Viagra."

"Great. What's he like?"

"Well he is very possessive. He doesn't like me talking to other men."

"Do you mind that?"

"Well at my age you take what you can get."

"I see."

"He also phones me about ten times a day and gets really angry if I don't answer my cell."

"Hmm, can't wait to meet him ..."

So basically Lisa burst my bubble on this front. Apparently the world is not full of young, eager hot males dying to ride a MILF with kids. Still, a lady can dream.

Which leads me to my question: What kind of mad mid life crisis style hunk/bimbo do you think you'd date if you suddenly found yourself single?