A Sausageless World





Today Scarlett (7) asked me, "Mummy, what are you reading?"

To which I replied, "Adam's Curse: The Science That Reveals Our Genetic Destiny by Bryan Sykes."

Scarlett: "What's it about?"

Me: "Well, this geneticist is saying that the Y chromosome is so weak that in 125,000 years men will probably have died out. What do you think we'd do if there were no men?"

Scarlett, deadpan: "We'd all have to be lesbians."

Even I was shocked by her matter of fact knowledge of lesbians and impressed by her practical solution to what I would have thought was an insurmountable problem. I thought she'd at least say, "I'd miss my daddy."

Which made me think of what the world would be like without men. Or at least, without sexual attraction. Think how many times a day you think about sex or men and then think about what you would think about instead. Frankly, I don't want to think about flowers and trees and the price of cornflakes. Sexual attraction really is the spice of life, however much we may sometimes hate men staring at our breasts and whistling at us from building sites.


My only experience of imagining a man-less world is when I used to frequent the Ladies' Pond on Hampstead Heath (above), which is a pretty idyllic place to relax at, with wall to wall women, mostly topless. Some of them look like this:



and some look like this:


All around me, spread out on the grass, would be lots of nubile lovelies oiling each other, snogging each other and yes, of course there would also be the occasional Peeping Tom up a tree with binoculars, trying to get a glimpse of this North London flesh fest.

But while the atmosphere was very tranquil and relaxing, after a while it also became somewhat dull. There was definitely not enough sexual tension in the air to keep it interesting for more than a few hours. For all the conflicts and misunderstandings between men and women, I can't imagine a sausageless world being much fun.



What do you think the world would be like if it was just inhabited by women?